| PERSONAL REFLECTIONS ON A 26 YEAR OLD MARRIAGE [Rachel Watkins] |
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7/29/2010 |
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Forgive my personal indulgence but yesterday Matt and I celebrated 26 years of marriage. Wow! In a day when many/most marriages barely seem to last more than a decade, our 26 years seems more than unusual.
But what really makes our marriage stand out is that we had every reason and excuse NOT to stay married. Early in our marriage we could have easily sought an annulment. Not that we may have been granted one mind you, but we had reason enough to seek one had we wanted.
If you go to this link you will see a quick list of the reasons for annulment:
http://www.marriage-relationships.com/marriage_annulment.html
Matt and I could have easily argued for a few of those conditions had we so desired (I'll leave the reasons up to you to guess, but I am sure you will be able to.)
But, we didn't. Why? Honestly, because we were as stubborn about staying married as we were about getting married. We were both young enough and stupid enough to think we 'knew it all' both before and after our marriage.
This stubbornness and stupidity (what do they say about God loving 'stupid animals') was actually a protection for us. We were going to hack it out in order to prove others wrong. While friends and family thought we would be divorced by the end of our first year we were determined not to!
And, in time, we were able - only by God's loving mercy and grace - to grow into the sacrament we were given. The sacrament gave us grace we did not always recognize but was always present. God working, behind the scenes, so to speak on our souls and in our lives. He loves to secretly give what you do not even see, but is exactly what you need.
Matt and I lovingly say that our marriage is the best mistake we made. And every mistake we make (you make) is one that can be remedied and returned to God for His attention.
It was not easy to lay claim to the sacrament God intended us to have, but we were willing to do the work. At first, we worked out on it because we were both to pigheaded to admit we might have made a mistake. But we soon began to work on it out of love - love for God and love for each other.
Here's to long marriages - which every marriage has the potential to be - if you love enough.
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